DARK CIRCUS
Series
 
 
…is a soliloquy, a song, of suffering, of saying goodbye, each painting a requiem of someone loved and lost, no longer in my world, looking back longingly for spirits I have admired and delighted in, in simpler, wonderous, magical times, that seem so very far away now
 
…the subjects represented as animals or clowns, circus motifs, with endearing souls, deep friendships, introduced through my life partner Brian Dowdall visionary, Brian and I are represented within the Clown grouping and Brian is the “Lion Tamer”, wherein he tames people, just as “Trick Pony” represents myself, all four legs lame, heartbroken, eyes shut, all of the cherished folks are intertwined within the DARK CIRCUS
 
…each painting is connected through the voyage of recovery, that originally I set sail on, post my first great loss, additionally this journey is the catalyst for my memoir/book, Voodoo Vessel, “a love story” …reluctant book, unintentional journey, tumbleweed memoir, DARK CIRCUS portrays the unexpected ending, now on the backside of a more intense Great Loss, this summer of 2018
 
…in my own self help, art therapy, I painted, calling up the memories, to portray, autonomously, the characters brought to life in my book, chronicling this amazing journey and the folks encountered, Alison in Wonderland, my Big Love Life with VISIONARY Brian Dowdall, “The Greatest Thing That Ever Happened in My Life”, (SO FAR)
 
…the DARK CIRCUS series is intended as the exhibit component for my future Poster Signing and POD CAST events, these are Not-for-Sale paintings, as a segway to VooDoo Vessel part III, solely as a series of paintings, most one off paintings, 3 of the paintings are triptychs (installed as one), 4 are a Clown Component to the Circus, portrayed as a homage to the “old masters of Folk Art”, a nod to the folks, I only knew through Brian and their own art that inspires the paintings, the Harlequin Requiem Romance is a finale Clown piece a Redux of Kabuki, totaling 9 Circus Animals, 4 Clown Posse, 1 Finale’ painting
Alison Spiesman

By Chance a deck of Tarot Cards found their way in a grab bag gift box, fall of 2018; as in life so too in painting. I was barely into this recent series (statement written prior to completion), rolling the dice as I moved through. The hand we are dealt when applied to life, is a facinating and sometime tragic concept; bittersweet too, two artists natures intertined that is pure magic. Theraphy may be found within painting to process what unfolds, when words fail us, within our earthworks. This series, each a birthing, is unscripted without preliminary sketches, instead a direct organic narrative incorporating autobiographical photo images, memories, symbols, content of the cards were selected as they related to my personal context (time & space). 

Each prior series, rolls along like a tumbleweed, picking up bits and pieces that may surface in the future refashioned. While in the Studio, "Sacred Space" ...music/poetry with meaning is played i.e. The Postman (El Postino), DONAVAN, Mingus; I sence moments of welcomed connectedness with Brian's spirit, as I glance occassionally at the Turtle Tattoo of his design, on my painting wrist. This series is infused with continued circus/magic/sideshow elements; a notion of trapeze, within an etherial space, wherein a delicate performance with color and masquerade prevail.

Each Painting is an exploration of paint, in color and texture, spirit and space, listening to the third eye, painting with my eyes closed. I traveled on the wings of VISIONARY Brian, he my greatest teacher, in addition to my Big Love, Life Partner, we shared a common vision. Twelve canvas: 4 varied sizes, were selected for this past winter's series production. Brian inspired me to paint again,  he encouraged me to write. Our faith in each other transends either side, as Brian sailed on into the Great Beyond 2018. I looked forward to the unfolding of this new series, as I painted through my pain, it was our Love Story through these paintings, filled with magic and mystery. 

Alison Spiesman December 2018

Magic, Madness, and Marisol, this series was under development, winter of 2017-2018; the stretches were primed and committed images to reflect the content of my memoir "VooDoo Vessel". The imagery was in a draft form, as we painted in our dual studios that winter season, Brian Dowdall had completed his "PRIMITIVE" series ...I completed only half of my inteneded paintings, ...then a February scheduled trip south. Upon our return, storms raged, a flu virus entered Beloved Brian's heart and as swiftly as a few weeks, Bernie "Lifted Off" at the UMBC Heart Institute. I cradled my Sweet Kiki, gazing off into the snow, as his large spirit slipped out of his wide bluest of eyes, seeing far into a deep universe, the Great Beyond. As the last wisp of Bernie's soul exited his mortal body, I witnessed as if a chrysalis formed, the outer doors of his open eyes shuttered close, the vessel had served its outer purpose, and Brian was Free and at Peace within all the vast openness of Mother Earth's Nature.  Later, in a Daze, dropped and now all alone, wandering the hallowed halls of Art Park Project, I picked back up the brush, in my Sacred Studio space and began the next painting already drafted in. "CONTORTIONIST", post curling up in the ICU sidechair, this painting became an immediate statement, revisitiing "Great Loss" real-time, as the remainder of the series unfolded, chronicling the "Overwelming Loss of Brian". Magic, Madness, and Marisol series was now infused with our own morbid current turn of events, journey, ONCE again facing mortality, Deepest Seperation, Fragility and Despair, like sands through an hour glass, time running through your fingers, and its gone ...our time was over and I, "Miss Us So": Ali & Bernie.

This rebuilt year, this solo journey 2019, has been transformative. As I stage for Winter Production, the experiences I've encountered and the exposure to urban life in a big city, have become very real, that's Baltimore. This 2020, I am an impassioned champion for Brandon Scott for Mayor 2020, for mainly one reason in my heart of hearts, "Stop the Violence"; as Lady Baltimore wails over the ominous cloud, distraught over a "Reign of Tears" oppressing her children, holding her people captive. As I, rise up out of the ashes again, covered in dust, white as a ghost, transparent as a spirit; I then ask, "What Color is a Spirit?" I had been called to the front lines, with my brothers in arms, my mentors and guides ...life and death on the streets Northeast Baltimore. What needs to be taught, is so vast, and the learning curb too great ...we would be wise to simply hold eachother up, locked hands, held high. I am the ultimate "OUTSIDER" now, not just drifting into a vernacular of visual art ...but as a being.  How did I find myself in this trajectory, was it a product of my own wishes, as a cliche', an altrustic bleeding-heart artist? Art Park Project has become a calling, solo leading the charge; Brian Dowdall (visionary) now an urban legend, even as the first and only posthumous orders were given ..."to remove the arsenal", (all 25 pieces haphazardly armed). I would be left behind, Annie without a gun, and of what use would another gun serve, certainly not my psyche. My most recent tattoo, a turtle brand, my animal spirit; in memory of Brian the Yosimite Sam vigilante of Montana, even as my first tattoo bore the mark of Katbone Blues Band, commemorating Spiesman 4rth PHYOP, Jim served in Vietnam. Did these two men know my future, does my Cowboy Pop, look over me now from the other side? ...as we fought tooth and nail, probabaly because we were too much alike. Reflecting on this new rite of passage, at 60, this winter series AGE~RACE~SEX with a new weapon, spray paint under my belt, exploring urban exposure, with all the painful and ugly truths, if one is required to speed course street smarts, and there is more content in context than I  could possibly process or portray. Who else might help me? Basquiat ~ Clemente ~ Gauguin ~ Chagall ~ Picasso ~ Rousseau ~ Kahlo ~ De Chirico ~ Marisol ~ Banksy ~ Pollock ~ Dali ~ Beckmann ~ Rothenberg ~ Rodin (post production, many of these artists were as if "studio seance" visitors) ...OR the Great GODDESS of the Universe? There is no studio model, thus Memory Appropriations, creating Superheroes of unsung heros, (Ebony & Ivory tritych, Ghost & Shadow diptych) and a real time Baltimore, Greek God of proportions, Lamar Jackson is drafted, as male Adonis to my faded Feminine Mystique, (Obelisks & Odalisque quadtych) ...all these narratives addressing AGE~RACE~SEX, on the EDGE 12 canvas a final triptych presenting a modern (*Femme Fatale tritych) posed as Manet's Olympia, ...enter with caution. *please see final project exstraneous paintings per series

This Project Contribution: Extraneous Portfolio Project Paintings Represent, the Project Image limit is 10 per Project and My Painting Series Range in Numbers i.e. 8, 10, 12, etc. Please find the final Triptych of AGE~RACE~SEX recent 2020 works, 12 within the series "Femme Fatale" I, II, III, and 1 additional Tarot Trapeze from 2019 "Wheel of Fortune" Please see above & review prior Descriptions/Statements. The final Image here, the refashioned, Spray Paint, Art Park Project 2020 logo, LOVE PEACE LIVE ART! Please visit Instagram you may see also my latest tattoo, of this one-off, complete with Baltimore flag heart, Juneteenth Weekend 2020. Thank You, Alison Spiesman

 

MAGIC ALCHEMY

AKA Dancing with the Devil

2022 series/7 canvas

 

As with all of my paintings ~ each series Is a continuation of a Feminine Journey A rediscovery of each incarnation ~ of me My work is now considered “Outsider” As personal explorations ~ portraying In this series MAGIC ALCHEMY Three mediums are revisited ~ Symbolic Layers ~ “the buildup” ~ Content & Context Ideals Laws of Attraction:

• Physical (bone/muscle/skin)
• Ethereal (mind/body/soul)
• Chemistry (spirit/energy/vibe)

KING & QUEEN ~ as Metaphysical Portraits, *(Gold, Silver, Bronze) explores: experiencing ~ discovering ~ a deep connection ~ commanding Vehicle to Vessel ~ Master in Understanding

Union of the Sexes, diptych Pair of Dice Yin/Yang ~ Phoenix Dragon (blk&wht) on red Joker & Ace (limited pallet) on blue Celebrating Balance of Dualities Perfect Compliments ~ Contrasts of Harmonies

Secret ~ Sacred ~ Sensual  *Not Shown

As a Continued Narrative of Characters WHITE ZOMBIE & DEVIL GOAT Alison Smith Spiesman

 

S T O P    T H E    V I O L E N C E
 
 
    Art Park Project upon the wake of COVID, I generated a REBOOT program year; calamity historically makes for creative fertile ground. It was a moment of “LIFT”, Artworks rose up inside my being, compelled to VOICE in ACTION! This included a COVID series (darfting table illustatrations) and then as a life-ring of an artistic expression, Graffiti Bridge, at the APP Underground Museum, near here, a sitework was born. Necessity being the Mother of Invention: as a grand art therapy project, I found myself Art Exploring foreign media and it’s usages, in light of the Tsunami like Pandemic, Wild Fire like Economic Disaster and the Ground Quaking CHANGE brought on by the recent Civil Uprising. At the onset of this year 2020, my physic intuition, was at a high pitch; anxiety disorder, social distancing issues, Anger Management ALL surfaced exceedingly early. I cannot explain, how my internal operative system/spirit knew the feelings that would overcome and overwhelm most everyone in our future, as we mutually traveled separately down this darken path together of “GRIEF”. I recognized the symptoms, I had recently experience deep grieving in 2018, even further back another Great Loss in 2003.

 
First came the COVID series an elaborate Illustration, as a refashioned “goddess series”, an over top “Dirty Baker’s Dozen” mixed media cathartic expression, as if an adult superhero comic book. I excused myself in suffering “Tourette’s syndrome” at that time. My heart was heavy for folks that might be in the high risk, COVID group and certainly my own peers in age bracket; late nights in the “Dream Scape” room, in what started as quarantine then morphed into lockdown, caught up in a virtual reality series, playing before us all, on our mobile devices. Of the COVID series, my own self portrait generated a new alter ego, and this one sort of scared the hell out of me, even as I was in constant prayer. She was tough, rough, mean, scarred, seamed, broken, barely put back together, with glass heart, (like the balloon that slips away from the BANKSEY little girl), death  was in her eye, the other stitched close, she bore another tattoo, doc martin boots, shredded stockings, bent over backways in a contortionist repose, might could be a Halloween costume, her face (red & yellow, black & white) a patchwork of pain, Buddhist clouds patterned her purple torso. (see Instagram link) or follow on IG visionary_contemporary
 
…Raggedy Franken F-ing Anne. I described to a young artist *ally, behind the scenes, everything I was producing on the drafting table seemed to have a life of its own. I felt as if I was riding a very fast horse and trying to hang on, the creative surge was overpowering. As seen in great detail, COVID series # 2, 1 of 13 illustrations, RaFfA; Her Angst, executed the summer project; the personae that came in to pick up the cans of spray paint later. It would be the entire summer project, Graffiti Bridge that opened up, specifically, deliberately commanded, Memorial Day the start and Labor Day the finish.
 
RaFfA would also become my “TAG” handle, as a self-taught Graffiti (nontraditional) artist now too; not only had I become an “outsider” in my last incarnation, from 2018, that rebuilt version was now, Reboot into something else altogether different. To translate into Graffiti  seemed unlikely, as the drafting for this sitework  was to be executed in spary paint; whilst the illustrations were in great detail; (Norman Rockwell illustrative style), and this is where I claim to have folks from the other side, assist (séance style), especially our dear friend the late Robbie Bell. Originally the vision had swept through my mind’s eye, in the form of scribbled thumbnails; emerging from a visit at the site, under the bridge, as old graffiti tags peaked out from the underbrush. I guess there had been curiosities about this place, at the bottom of the knoll. Circling Back, the phrase came from my last artist statement, associated with a campaign membership Team Brandon Scott for Mayor; STOP    THE    VIOLENCE  …was my war cry at the turn of the New Year!
 
These associations kept happening as if a sign of what was to come. The thumbnails on a yellow pad, became motifs that lettered the phrase and later became a poster. It was for me a way to feel connected to my “New Tribe” as of 2019, a member of this underground coalition for the people! Even as I typed this statement , staging a trip south, to clearly one super red state, most likely my mom’s last birthday; with the Election pending, voting early Monday, that theatrics and parlor tricks had driven most to a level of “rope-a-dope”, current state of affairs, that one can hardly begin to processed. Each Letter STV addresses the top to the bottom issues, that are a cycle of chronic problems, meanwhile I had an intent to infuse not with anger, but with blessings for Baltimore in “Love & Peace”. The Breaking Point was of course the beginning; Memorial Day the Murder of George Floyd!  The Civil Uprising, The Civil Unrest, The Civil War that drags on, an ol’ Southern saying “they gonna keep fighting that war till they win”. I am clearly a defector, not a daughter of the Deep South. Here I was in my new promised land, Baltimore trying to process the pain and portray it as I must, solo, scared, inundated!
 
 
S T O P

“S” inspired by Mr. Imagination, Cobra Snake, African Flag signature colors, spray paint his medium of choice. “T” inspired by the first little one I knew we  “saved”, Eli became my internal poster boy for the humbled efforts at the outdated, but paramount community rec centers; this letter was complex, and I had no vision of how these images could be translated into graffiti art? Added to “T”, the Excalibur Sword of King Author’s folklore, something powerfully imbued with magic strength of character. A third element an homage to my sweet “baby boy” guardian angel *Morris, brilliant and beautiful, his talents of design, MICA grad, whom had just showcased a signature line of his men’s  suits at the Historical Society and featured in BMORE magazine, the red suit! “O” Oh, my first year back out in the wild, solo 2019, Baltimore dispatch to design, implement & instruct Art Explorations, I cried allot. The BCRP leadership lifted me up and carried me, healed me, breathed life back into my shell. The Pirate (ECU) skull & cross bone mast flag, now flag ship, tiny watermelon boat, …whenever I did a DEMO of the Scribble exercise, I would draw this image, Sonnie (our APP Cheshire), harrowed, hanging on the mast, atop the tiny round boat, in that flag motif was me, a crying girl skull. Note: Winter Series was the first time Skull Motif was created as Art, & outside of the APP New Logo, my first attempt at “spray paint”, formally expressed on canvas. “O” The image became large, charred, eye holes burning from the destruction brought by distraught and disillusioned people, depicted in Fires of RAGE, as only this expression can show. The NO sign in red, the circle cross through getting to that breaking point, crying tears of blood, with my now glass broken heart. “P” evolved with hands overlapping shades of black and brown, to create the skin of a basket ball or globe, the vines the hoop, of mother nature, the beginning of time and mankind, post the project execution, this letter would take more meaning, as the NBA stepped up to the plate to again draw attention to this chronic issue, “BLACK LIVES MATTER”. 

 
T H E
 
“T” as another tribute, one of last year’s students, at Gardenville Rec, a darling “good trouble” little girl; I nicknamed these special folks, my “First Flock”. The angel wings loose and free, bright canary yellow, a signature color of Mr. Brian’s and a hallo of our state flower black eyed susans. These beautiful children filled with hope and promise, in this case a sassy strong spirit at such a young age …it is for them we must offer a better world! “H” was early on centered around, (now four year prior) a peaceful protest, gaining awareness, led by Kaepernick, taking a knee during the National Anthem, …drastic times calls for drastic measures. “E” an idealized notion, a world without guns, PEACE: old school daisy in the riffle, or here black eyed susan in gun barrel, drawing attention to: chronic violence, homicides, gun violence top & bottom, issued  guns, police or private, fuel by the opioid crisis & OD’s added into the mix, lower gun piece, wrapped in mother nature’s vine of life, and not to mention the neighborhood residuals, the Trauma, PTSD, Anger Management, etc. the middle of the “E” letter, the dagger the knife of life “MASH” theme song “suicide is painless”, this “E” cries E N O U G H of Death & Violence!

 
V I O L E N C E

“V” became a symbol in its own right, a strong and bold emblem, sabers of justice created the V; adding lessons I had learned of the heart, it houses four chambers and these became the upper hands creating a familiar heart sign, while bottom pair of hands are holding up in a blessing gesture, once again (red & yellow, black & white). “I” I had revisited the goddess Lady Baltimore, once again an image explored within my last winter production, instead of the De Chirico version or Savage (Ghost & Shadow I & II), she morphed into a jade statue, as a soothsayer or seer, holding golden orb, rudder as protection, and laurel as a breast plate, her garment more of a cape. “O” the classic PEACE sign, indigenous flowers of Baltimore the model and fashioned as a wreath, in graffiti version hearts were added and accented peace plant. “L” the Big Blessing, a Buddhist Monk in prayer with beads, chanting of the heart, that the violence would soon end, floating on a stone. “E” two king snakes intertwined, embracing, our Maryland flag, shared with the last “E”, while a large and lovely spirit animal Praying Mantis patiently waits. In the middle the letter “C”, sea filled with sea creatures, see the artist eye, balancing at the tip of a big wave, 2020 election BLUE WAVE AMEN, the lush and peaceful power of the color BLUE, the only other blue would be Buddhist clouds floating throughout each wall face, my last day, tying together the wall spaces.
 
“N” is the KEYSTONE Letter celebrating BLACK LIVES MATTER, just as in real time, this summer, the street scape was brilliantly created in DC, then gloriously spread throughout our country, showcased on main streets in major cities USA, BLACK LIVES MATTER AMEN!
 
RaFfa had a new tattoo, a recreated APP logo, my 1st spray paint on metal steel plate, then transposed into the LOVE PEACE LIVE ART Mantra logo, Art Park Project; the heart had been instead of red, the new Baltimore Heart of our gold and black flag pattern, post Trump trashing our City of Baltimore …people went out in droves to get. So too did I, get another tattoo just prior to the solo mask up & gloves Graffiti Bridge. It was mid-summer by then, riots, protests, peaceful protest, marches, from Juneteenth Weekend to Fourth of July, I had been unable to participate, locked down in my psyche & physical form, so I created my own protest sign to display on the side porch, as I prepared to TAG Graffiti Bridge. So many things made no sense, I had never done graffiti, generationally, geographically, gender …and YET, I found my AGNST driving to Home Depot, like a kid in the candy store, the colors were already beginning to be pick off, shelves emptied, but I left with a pallet of what would be 25 tones, colors, finishes, looking like trouble …a man behind me in check out said, “you must have some kind of RUST problem” (RUSTOLEUM product) I said, “I DO”.
 
 
I had swept the wall space down at Graffiti Bridge, earlier texted for assistance by Leadership, or maybe an accomplice, if nothing else good company, …but it would be only from afar. Earlier I had encouraging feedback from my guardian angel, late into the night at the drafting table; intense yes but had not the whole year been, a battle ground of emotions, boiling over with heat. Somehow, I would not be at PEACE until this little known, out of the way project was complete. At some point I realized, I knew nothing of the right of passage per Graffiti; the rules, there was a google dictionary, the internal regulations, obviously gang tag territory there, RESPECT of this new artform …I didn’t even have any experience in spray painting anything prior. The weather was moving into the heat wave of summer, later I texted, I think my biggest concerns were, “Poison Ivy & Angry Kevin”. I found out, you would not want to piss someone off, cover up a gang tag; but then a profound concept of creating a blanket of peace to layer on top of these radical expressions, integrated within existing graffiti, left behind by others, 8 years old or so, seemed befitting, …hopefully the young folks, maybe they survived  these tags, or outgrew the lifestyle.
 
 
 
GRAFFITI BRIDGE
 
I remember feeling, “I’m not worthy”, BANSEY had just posted his clever as always, “I Get Locked Down”, on Instagram, I created a home installation in tribute, two mice, face mask parachutes, but also feeling so scared, heart racing, I geared up with overalls, N95 mask, later gorilla gloves, a recycled ArtScape badge (my official camouflage) and then selected the pallet of spray cans per tag. I’d carry the cans in two 6 pack holders, and for some reason would take my morning long walks, fill up on a subway wrap, and try to find my voice, in a FAST & FURIOUS medium. Spray Paint feels like a roller-coaster, it gets away so fast, the smell is strong, the colors intense, these were spray nozzle, no crisp line, one can only try to image to layer and shape with the paint and you do not know what you have until the dust settles. It is an artform for the angry, although I prayed every window prior to each tag, I thought of my little art babies (5 Rec Center youth), BCRP Leadership my new tribe (fraternal order),  APP Management Frontline Men (for continued Faith), Historic City of Baltimore, Charm City, "Greatest City in America" (plagued with problems), and yet I had only met salt of the earth folks here. I knew this was not a solution, maybe a cry for help, or attention to the cause, from the madness of the homicides on top of Civil Unrest in a Pandemic during an “off the rails” Election year, this had simply caused for everything to MELTDOWN. The state of being to command this solo reboot mural project was, “RaFfA”, there was a part of me that could not wait for it to be over and another that cherished every moment, slowing down, putting room round the project. Each Letter, these heavy-hearted motifs, were to be recreated in Spray Paint, from a tracing on a window newsprint template, solely armed with 2 6pks of color. Spirit Painting and Cave Drawing (Brian Dowdall), my last mentor, as with each letter/tag, someone was a part of the message, ie COBRA “S” Mr. Imagination, his spirit was with me. This was a solo and very lonely journey, midway I visited the infamous local site destination Graffiti Alley, even in the pandemic, back into phase 2, an awe-inspiring field trip, it was as if I were possessed. Then each Letter, woven into the rough cement wall spaces, knitted in-between existing graffiti, in sunlight I tagged, in prayer, in hope, in beauty, in love, in light & art! The execution was done entirely through my third eye, I could not actually see what I was doing, I could sense it, it was lonesome too, but I was in a MOOD. I grew in a non-traditional method of graffiti, by, "flying by the seat of pants", I found my way. The difficulty somehow soothed me, distracted me, healed me, once again, as the pain & anger purged. I do not know if it is great art, or if the message will be heard or even last, I do know it embodied my whole being, and achieved PEACE within myself. The Project Piece was always intended to be as Graffiti, the interpretation of the Letters was surprisingly rewarding in this new art frontier and was as much a mystery to me as any viewer. I simply let go and road the wave, tried to stay of the horse, galloped off into the sunset to finish!
 
 
 
 
 
RaFfA
 
Full Circle: RaFfA TAG, probably my best image as a street art aesthetic (and design only in template newsprint) strangely a most power drawing, and is the closest to an authentic Graffiti pieces from what I understand. As a TAG, logo, artist sur name, the image crying skull, cross bones for lettering, the third eye balls out of socket, the scars, the spider web, the spider, the glow eyes, of intensity, add red lipstick lips, sexy skull, finish with 2020 date, including retro moon eyes, BONG!!
 
 
 

ON THE FENCE & ON FIRE
Outsider artist-in-residence
Alison Spiesman/Baltimore
 
MANIFEST: Magic~Mystery~Miracle, Canvas as Sails, Sails as Messengers, Heart on My Sleeve, Storytelling, Songs …I had a VISION to take this OUTSIDE! The World had stopped 2020, I was stuck in total isolation, then LOCKDOWN, an Emotional Abyss. See Project: Graffiti Bridge above. Post my Third Rock Bottom Holiday Season, this “Shoot from the Hip” productions was born. Stepping back to Oct. of 2020, a desperate trip south to have human contact, to household, to hug my 92-year-old Mom (mommer), see some kin and get my head screwed on straight, everything was escalating with all that had gone down, pandemic, civil uprising, election year, I could no longer stand alone. Upon my return the last of 2020, Holiday Season for many, I STOPPED EVERYTHING: Art, TV, MUSIC, in a constant meditation, incense and prayer. Seeking Higher Spiritual Ground AND making room in my soul for MAGIC.
 
I was additionally still trying to Rebuild, Discover What was Left of Me, Who I was Now, SO MANY BROKEN PARTS, New Parts, Short Circuits, and Misfires in my Operative System …Dealing with My Second Great Loss, as a Double Down Widow, 2003 & again 2018. I was in the land of “Lost Souls”, (recent Pixar movie SOUL reference). Major Grief barely patched together 2019, only to SPIRAL Down, COVID year, Like So Many.
 
ENTER: “a spark”, a Spiritual Healer, a Witch Doctor, maybe a Devil Goat, He was Deep, Dark, Mysterious, able to Reach to my Core, he could find me, see me, understand me, later he would post, “He was her dark fairytale, and She was his twisted fantasy; Together they made Magic”. F. Scott Fitzgerald
 
ON THE FENCE & ON FIRE, was built on Blind Faith, Intuition, possibly Time Travel, a Living MANIFEST; The SPELL is dual; I refer to it as a (collaborative work). 8 Raw Canvas, 5’x9’, utilizing Art Park Project wrap around fence as stretchers, experimental, uncharted territory, roof nails to anchor, weather stretched fabric, taunt on planks of wood, incorporating signature gold gesso and imprinted fence pattern, new self-taught language of graffiti spray paint, adding a new limited pallet layer of acrylic, add to this my forte final layer of oils. “The Build Up” My Man would say, both the medium and narrative built up in Layers …all of it hung out on the fence, to weather, for all to see, to bear witness to a MYSTERY.
 
Dream Scape Room of 2020, on Pop’s vintage drafting table, a small 5’x7’ alcove upstairs room, with an outside door that leads to nowhere …this I believed to be a portal for the spirits. I had conjured folks and artists, séance style most of 2020 production, while in total Isolation. For this Production, I drafted in a simple sketch book and collected images, whilst pouring over the vast library here, channeling specific artists, inspirations from the great beyond: MARISOL, Basquiat, Kahlo, Haitian Art, VooDoo, Clemente, Picasso, Banksy (still with us), Van Gogh, Mexican, Brancusi, Turner, Nikki de Saint Phalle, etc. The Sails were in Realtime, Right to Left, Spray Paint Graffiti approach first layer, as the catalyst within storyline, Next, I refer to the Acrylic Layer, as “Skeleton Tango”, (day-o-dead homage), select pallet to celebrate the black & white cultural blend, with a Final Layer of OILS, representing the spirit world ‘Astral Plane” flowing in and around each Sail/Canvas. In direct contrast to last year’s production …this work is: Joyous, Beautiful, Mysterious, Autonomous, Poetry, … a Soothsayer reflecting to me, like a Magic Mirror, recording Our Story …
 
REATIME became paramount, all too precious, I would read no more romance novels, tabloids on my phone, masterpiece theatre, public TV, entertainment became only a distraction, virtual the enemy, for me to HEAL …I Longed to: touch, see, explore, taste, smell, feel, hear, speak, kiss, even as my spirit, mind, heart Broken upon BROKEN. The WOMAN in me, was long lost at Sea, years gone by, Myself on a Shelf …for as long as I could remember, within pockets of amnesia via grief. Somehow, MAGIC Powers rescued me, I had prayed in my deepest soul, … “I can heal your mind, body, soul, …certified”, through this one mortal MAN, with ancient gifts, from a distant land, found its way through, the corridors, Art Park Project, clearing within the bedroom, cleansing, healing, peeling away layers, to mind, body, soul. *ON THE FENCE & ON FIRE is not ART it is the personal Expression of a MIRACLE.
 
Our World as We Knew it, for ALL, will never be the SAME, there will be a form of Grief for Everyone, post COVID. From casualties to illnesses, economy to properties, vocations to business, social and community disconnectedness, and even more distressing, mental and emotional health. For those that were already road weary, life of hard knocks, lessons to shape us, trials, tribulations, fires, …folks like myself survivors of great loss, inevitable pain, that may shut us down and test our faith …we must remember to meditate, express gratitude, exercise our prayers to MANIFEST, from our heart of hearts …Coupled with next AVAM www.avam.org mega exhibit prophetic and timely as ever, Lady Rebecca shared is, “HEALING and the Art of Compassion”. This Message for ALL to Lean In, that our Spiritual practices, become dedicated to Healing, Ourselves, Others, and Our World; We are All Being Called Up to Do So. Art Park Project: “Ambassadors of SMILE” Legacy, with a Bohemian Manifesto, “Truth, Beauty, Freedom, Love” as important as ever, 2021 adding “there’s MAGIC HERE”  ...within healing hands, a mended kintsugi heart, soul sharing, through exchanges of powerful energy and sparking new life, keeping the faith, I BELIEVE Magic~Mystery~Miracle

* This "Shoot from the Hip Producions" was developed and painted from January-July, 2021, from snow on the ground through the summer heat way; in tandem with the blossoming relationship, again "Our Story". This life's work, my most recent and powerful painting, was violated by theft of finale paintng "The KISS". Raw Vision Magazine had posted out inteneded "On The FENCE & ON FIRE" (TBA) Drive through exhbit and Grill offering, and listed me as an "Outsider Artist", this Exhibit & Event was shut down and future plans for Exhibition of the Series, PLEASE IF ANYONE Knows ANYTHING About the Wearabouts of this Finale Painting "The KISS" Contact Me, Thank You!
(note: there is a reward being offered by my editor & myself as a contant educator of the arts, professional artist & preservationist, etc. this is unfathomable, and ill fated for those who were involved; for those of us within the arts, I know you would share in my devistation, respectfully, Always in Art, Alison)