Work exploring abuse and trauma
A collection of work exploring my past abuse, trauma and mental illness
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Choice of Life
I have a lot of feelings when it comes to abortion rights. With this piece I wanted to show that sometimes abortion is about making the choice for life. Abortion has saved my life. But also it’s my body, so I should be able to choose what happens to it. I can decide if my organs get donated after I die, or if my body is used to nourish the earth. I should have the right to choose what happens to my body while I’m alive. So this piece is illustrating my choice of life, the only life I want springing for from my body. That’s my choice, this is my life, I choose to live. -
Overwhelmed
This piece is inspired by song lyrics, that really spoke to the feeling of my anxiety. The stitches on lips help convey the analyzation and inability to speak. Being trapped within yourself, and struggling to fight your own mind. watercolor, charcoal, colored pencil, paper, wood panel, varnish -
Self Harm
I often have thoughts and actions of self harm. This piece shows very visually how those thoughts manifest in my mind. Though my acts of self harm have yet to escalate to the severity depicted. It's still a small glimpse into what plays in my head during dark times. alcohol ink, charcoal, colored pencil, acrylic, paper, wood panel, varnish -
Won't Go Back
I recently had a severe flashback, that left me crying repeating, "I can't go back" and I wanted to work through that feeling of being dragged back into that space I so desperately didn't want to return to. Of clawing at the edges trying to stay out. I used this piece to work through those feelings, and I brought myself to a sense of empowerment. Which is why the title is "Won't Go Back" because I know I'm safe now and I never have to return to that place. watercolor, paper, charcoal, acrylic, wood panel, varnish -
Secret Anticipation
The nightingale was chosen for the symbolic connection to love, secrets and anticipation. This piece is more so about secrets kept from myself, and the anticipation of unlocking them with love. An attempt to heal and discover myself after all of the pain. watercolor, charcoal, ink, paper, wood panel, varnish -
Depression Hole Climb
I always talk about my depression as being like a hole. When it's deep you can't see light or a way out. But when things are starting to get better you may be able to see light and the way out. You can see the hope and a way to climb. This piece is about my climb out of the hole. And one of the colors I usually see first when I start coming out is green. So green is my color of hope. ink, acrylic, charcoal, hotpress paper, yupo paper, wood panel -
Safe
Overall I just want to feel safe, that is my goal. I've been through so much and been hurt by people I wanted to love me. By people I thought loved me or was supposed to love me. watercolor, charcoal, ink, acrylic, paper, varnish wood panel -
Broken
This piece features a phrase I said out loud, while being berated in text. It was an intense moment, and I felt so hopeless. I just wanted it all to stop. But I wasn't strong enough to actually write it out at the time. I used this piece to take ownership of those words and put them into the world. To finally take a stand for myself and reclaim that moment. -
Past Remembered
I spent most of my life knowing my grandmother was dying. She was the family I was closest too for the longest time. All of my significant family members spent most of my life in poor health. That is a trauma in and of it self. To love someone so fiercely and know that your time with them is limited. I used to wear her ring, and I still have a fondness for yellow roses even now. They were her favorite and always remind me of her. -
Take Heed
This piece is about trying to protect your heart when even the universe is sending you signs you are going to get hurt. I was driving one day when I saw a leucistic red-tailed Hawk. It felt almost like an omen to me. I looked up symbolism for them when I got home, and saw loss for battle pop up as a possible meaning. I was having a bit of an argument at the time, and I knew even though I hoped for the best things probably wouldn’t work out. And I’ve been struggling with those feelings a lot lately. Wanting to believe the best in people and myself but then knowing I’m fighting a losing battle.
