Etchings & Printwork

This Pattern Changes But I Think There Is A Bigger Pattern... This Pattern Changes But I Think There Is A Bigger Pattern... This Pattern Changes But I Think There Is A Bigger Pattern... This Pattern Changes But I Think There Is A Bigger Pattern... This Pattern Changes But I Think There Is A Bigger Pattern... This Pattern Changes But I Think There Is A Bigger Pattern... This Pattern Changes But I Think There Is A Bigger Pattern...


Series of 365 individual prints (intaglio etching and aquatint) on various papers, metal pins

48 inches by 48 inches


Companion to the video "A Collection of Potential Drawings"

Digital video of over 9 hours of footage wherein the artist sat alone over the course of one day, hooded.

Inspired by Deleuze and Guattari's essays on the Body without Organs and some very sad Kierkegaard.

Was created as a companion piece to "This Pattern."

An attempt to merge themes of silence, self-discipline, relativity, "selfhood", sensory manipulation, trance states and the religious experience in an experiential form - the concept did not fully resolve itself until I was inspired by Carrie Fucile's early video piece "Mascara," and was pushed to explore new media with the help of Trace Miller.

A prayer to Wisdom.

26 layered tracks of humming and singing. Each subsequent track was recorded as I listened to the previous track, or random selections of tracks, over sound blocking headphones in an attempt to build an entirely organic work.

This is an experimental film about autism and sensory overload.

III

This work is comprised of over 30 individual sessions wherein I filmed myself engaged in my previously most private activities. After my diagnosis on the autistic spectrum, I began to think of them as "auting-out" sessions where I would be able to freely embrace the natural instincts and movements of my body. The audio is comprised of layered sounds I created by either humming, flapping, coughing, drumming, or dropping objects onto various surfaces.

As an adult on the autistic spectrum, I have worked carefully (not always successfully) to monitor my speech, my body language, my facial expressions and my tone of voice in every social situation. I have altered these various forms of expression trying to find one that feels "right" while simultaneously squashing any chance for authentic behavior. These videos have helped me embrace the naturalness of my natural state.

Particularly for women, especially for those who fall into drug abuse or alcoholism to cope with their depression and anxiety, un-diagnosed adult autism can be mis-diagnosed as various sensitivity disorders, border-line personality disorder, schizoaffective disorder, bi-polar disorder, ADHD and OCD, or atypical schizophrenia. This is extremely dangerous when treatment for some of these serious conditions include heavy medication with lasting neurological effects, or in rare cases, electroconvulsive therapy (ECT). 70% of ECT patients are women.

This work has helped me to understand and love aspects of my body, my brain, and my selfhood that used to cause me fear and pain - fear and pain that was based on my trust in definitions from a system I knew to be flawed by over a decade of negative experience.

This work has helped me to instead re-establish faith in my thought processes, recognize my own cognition, and trust my natural neurons.

I love you, neurons.

III

Special thanks to John E. Rice III for the beautiful and natural objects used in this video.