Watercolor and Gold on Paper, 2021

Watercolor and Gold on Paper, 2021

Watercolor and Gold on Paper, 2021

Watercolor and Gold on Paper, 2021

Watercolor and Gold on Paper, 2021

Watercolor and Gold on Paper, 2021

Watercolor and Gold on Paper, 2021

"Be Still and Wait Patiently." Acrylic on canvas. 30"x40". The title comes from the beginning of Psalm 37:7, "Be still before the Lord and wait patiently for Him." This is the first large-scale canvas painting I've completed since graduating in May. The time in between then and now has been a bit of a roller coaster. This piece reflects my amazing experinces in England, as well as my looking to an uncertain future now. It took 7 years for my dream to go to England to come true, but God, in His perfect timing was gracious to allow me that joy this past summer. In the time since, I have been on the job hunt, at times coming close to something, but ultimately still unemployed. That journey has been difficult, and I am still on it, but through it all, God has been with me and reminded me daily of His great love and faithfulness. My identity is not found in my work or employment status, but in my Lord Jesus Christ, who is constant and unchanging. His grace is sufficient for me and His power is made perfect in my weakness. I am thankful that He helped me to finally finish this piece. And I believe that in His time, He will lead me down the right path ahead.

This is a self-portrait titled, "Trust in Him at All Times," (Hebrew words) from "Trust in Him at all times, O people; pour out your hearts to Him, for God is our refuge" (Psalm 62:8). In these 6 months, I have experienced a wide array of emotions. There were many times where I came very close to getting a job I really wanted but ended up with no response and eventually the dreaded rejection email. There were other times when I had put my full effort into applications, only to face a deafening silence for weeks. There were times I raised my hopes just a little, hoping God had finally answered my prayers and ended my time of waiting, only to end up with another door slammed in my face. There were times I felt the weight of dismay and rejection, wondering what kind of future lay ahead of me, if any. And yet, through it all, the Lord was with me and He pressed His truth into my heart over and over again, even when my feelings threatened to plunge me into a pit of despair. He reminded me that "the one who trusts [in Him] will never be dismayed" (Isaiah 28:16), that He is "with [me] always, to the very end of the age" (Matthew 28:20b), that He has "plans to give me a hope and a future" (Jeremiah 29:11), that my life is "hidden with Christ in God" (Colossians 3:3), defined by Jesus, "the Author and Perfecter" of my faith, who "endured the cross" for me, the "joy set before Him" (Hebrews 12:2) , not by my job status or lack thereof, that His discipline (this trial), though painful now, will produce "a harvest of righteousness and peace" (Hebrews 12:11), that He will "equip [me] with everything good for doing His will" and "work in [me] what is pleasing to Him, through Jesus Christ (Hebrews 13:21), that I can rejoice in a "living hope...through Jesus Christ" (1 Peter 1:3) though I "suffer grief in all kinds of trials" (1 Peter 1:6), and that He allows these trials so that "my faith...may be proved genuine and may result in [His] praise, glory and honor." (1 Peter 1:7). Some days are still hard. I don't know what tomorrow holds. Even so, I will trust in Him at all times, and pour out my heart to Him, for He is my refuge (Psalm 62:8).

"Great is Your Faithfulness.” Acrylic on canvas. 30”x40”. 2019. The Hebrew text comes from my meditations on the Psalms. As the Psalmist wrote, “Your word, O LORD, is eternal; it stands firm in the heavens…If your law had not been my delight, I would have perished in my affliction. I will never forget your precepts, for by them you have preserved my life” (Psalm 119:89;92,93). In my struggle with joblessness and disappointment, His Word stands firm. The text, though crisp and bright, still carries the weathered texture of the raging water, because God doesn’t just leave us and force us to bear the hardships alone, He literally stands with us in the midst of the storm and bears our burdens and scars, upholding and sustaining us through it all. The text reads like a prayer: 1.) “Hope in God (Psalm 42:11), 2.) “My Strength and Song” (Psalm 118:14), 3.) “My Rock” (Psalm 62:6) and “Refuge” (Psalm 46:1), 4.) “My Fortress” (Psalm 91:2); 5.) “And my Salvation” (Psalm 62:6); 6.) “In You (Psalm 31:1) I will not be shaken” (Psalm 62:6). It is also a testimony—my strength in these hardships was not found in myself or my own abilities, but in God alone. And I know that the gift of this internship was not due to my own endurance or patience (for I have fallen short many times and grown weary), but God’s love and faithfulness. To Him alone be the glory!

"The Good Way," Acrylic and Collage on Canvas, 40"x30", 2019. As I struggled with adjusting to this new phase of life, uncertain of where God was leading me next, I pondered, "Where am I headed?" In response, God struck me with this verse: "This is what the LORD says, 'Stand at the crossroads and look, ask for the ancient paths, ask where the good way is, and walk in it, and you will find rest for your souls" (Jeremiah 6:16). I wondered how my spiritual path might relate to my physical journey this summer. Reflecting on the long, but varied bus rides to work, I decided to document my physical routes through journal entries written in May, June and July. I also traced the map routes that correspond to these entries.The setting, the Proffit ranch, references a literal "crossroads" in my summer, but it also represents a place of rest, the place my heart always longs to return to. In this moment of stillness within the chaotic "routes" of life, I stand and see דֶ֤רֶךְ הַטּוֹב֙ ("The Good Way"). In this summer of new beginnings, transitions, change, distractions, frustration, fear and uncertainty, I wonder what lies ahead. "Where is the Good Way?" Though I still wrestle with not knowing what's coming, God has reminded me that the answer to the question is actually very simple. Jesus says in Matthew 11:28-29, "Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls." Notice how the last phrase directly references Jeremiah 6:16, "you will find rest for your souls". Jesus puts it more plainly in His declaration, "I am the way and the truth and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me" (John 14:6). Jesus is the Answer to the question. He is the Good Way. Amid the crossroads of life, He calls me to stand and look to Him. In coming to Him, I find the Good Way, and in taking up His yoke, I walk in it. Day by day, gently He reminds me of what He has called me to. And in Him, my soul rests secure.

Greek text comes from John 11:34 ("Come and see") and the Hebrew from Genesis 16:13 ("You are the God who sees me")

The Hebrew text in the painting comes from various passages in the book of Jeremiah. From the top down: " I appointed you"(Jeremiah 1:5), "Sing to the LORD" (Jeremiah 20:13) and "and a hope"(Jeremiah 29:11). Jeremiah the prophet had a difficult task to speak God's Word to a people who didn't want to hear it. When God first called him, he did not feel adequate(Jeremiah 1:6). But God promised to be with him and rescue him (Jeremiah 1:8,19). He would make Jeremiah a "fortified city, an iron pillar and a bronze wall to stand against the whole land"(Jeremiah 1:18). Jeremiah foretold the destruction of Jerusalem and the captivity of Judah, which made him hated by the people. At times, he despaired because of the predicament he felt the LORD had given him (Jeremiah 20:7). But despite this, he knew the LORD was with him (Jeremiah 20:11), and he sang praise to Him(Jeremiah 20:13) even in hard times. This is a portrait of another Jeremiah, who was named after the man described above. Although separated by many millennia, the two share an enduring faith and hope in God, who is eternal. And like his namesake, this Jeremiah, who has been gifted with a beautiful voice, could join with his predecessor and say, "Sing to the LORD! Give praise to the LORD! He rescues the life of the needy from the hands of the wicked." (Jeremiah 20:13)

Rachel is my best friend, and a strong woman of faith. For her portrait, I took inspiration from her first and middle names: Rachel and Ann. In Hebrew, Rachel means "ewe," but for the purposes of our modern understanding, I've chosen the descriptor "beautiful" for the definition of her name, as this describes the Biblical Rachel (Genesis 29:17), wife and love of the patriarch Jacob and mother of Joseph and Benjamin. The English name Ann derives from the Hebrew name Hannah, meaning "grace". Hannah was the mother of the prophet and judge Samuel, and her story is detailed in 1 Samuel 1-2. These women lived centuries apart, but had a few commonalities to their stories. Both were barren, which was considered a disgrace in their time, although they dealt with their situations differently. While Rachel blamed her husband and took matters into her own hands instead of turning to God (Genesis 30:1-3), Hannah went to the house of the LORD and poured out her heart and soul to Him in prayer. In these cases, despite their differences, God extended His grace to both women and allowed them to conceive. Rachel bore Joseph, and Hannah, Samuel, both of whom became prominent figures in Israel's history. The phrase used in both Genesis 30:22 and 1 Samuel 1:19 is nearly the same in Hebrew, which translates to "and God remembered her," the words used in the top half of the painting. The latter two words come from Hannah's prayer of praise to the LORD when he answered her plea, and they read "I rejoice in your salvation" (1 Samuel 2:1). What connects these three women is not their personalities, but the "beautiful grace" of God at work in their lives. Today, God still works to take away disgrace--the disgrace of sin. In His love, He entered our existence as a human being, the spotless Lamb, lived perfectly and bore our sins and our disgrace on the cross, and rose again, triumphing over death and sin. Because of Christ, Rachel Ann can rejoice in His salvation and know that the Lord remembers her.

“Matthew (n.), מתתיהו, Ματθαίος- gift of the LORD”, Acrylic on canvas, 30”x40”, 2019. Before encountering Jesus, Matthew, then called Levi, was a publican (or tax collector) for the Roman Empire, so he would have collected taxes on imports and goods from the people (often fellow Jews). Tax collectors were known to commit extortion, which was a violation of the Levitical Law, leading them to be hated by their own people and treated as “sinners” (a despised class). In Matthew 9:9, while Matthew is sitting at his tax collector’s booth, Jesus calls him to be His disciple, changing the trajectory of his life forever. The Greek and Hebrew text and shapes in the painting reflect important themes in Matthew’s Gospel. The first two Greek words are “Follow Me” (passage described above), which represent Jesus’ gracious call on Matthew’s life. The following Hebrew text, “I desire mercy” comes from Hosea 6:6. It is quoted twice by Matthew in Chapters 9 and 12 and emphasizes God’s value on active, sacrificial love rather than religious hypocrisy. The final Greek words, “Come little children,” combine Christ’s promise to give rest to the weary (Matthew 11:28-30) with his invitation to the little children to come (Matthew 19:14). The free-flowing, blue shapes further reflect on this spiritual rest offered in Jesus. My grandmother chose the name Matthew for my father (the painting’s subject) at God’s leading, before he was even born. He was a “gift of the LORD” to his family when he entered this world 8 days after his father’s tragic death. He answered Jesus’ call at age 6, embodying the childlike faith spoken of in his namesake’s Gospel. Like the Gospel author, he testifies about Jesus and His transforming love, and by God’s grace, his faithful witness has affected many lives, including my own.

A self-portrait inspired by Psalm 62:5 and Matthew 11:28-30. It is a reflection on what it means to rest in Christ. The calm, sky blue, splattered from the background to the face and the specks of red and purple speak to the profound mystery of this spiritual rest.

Completed over a series of weeks, this series reflects on various passages in the Psalms, which speak to all aspects of the human experience, both highs and lows. For each one, I meditated on a particular set of verses and let them inform my selected pose and intuitive application of the paint.

A personal meditation on Psalm 121: 1-2: "I lift up my eyes to the hills--where does my help come from? My help comes from the Lord, the Maker of heaven and earth." In this double self-portrait, one face looks upward, while the other bows down in prayer, reflecting duality in a spiritual moment.

An expression of the resurrection of my soul in Christ.