We’re all seeking that special person who is right for us. But if we’ve been through enough relationships, we begin to suspect there’s no right person, just different flavors of wrong. Why is this? Because we ourselves are wrong in some way, and we seek out partners who are wrong in some complementary way. But it takes a lot of living to grow fully into our own wrongness. And it isn’t until we finally run up against our deepest demons, our unsolvable problems—the ones that make us truly who we are—that we’re ready to find a lifelong mate. Only then do we finally know what we’re looking for. We’re looking for the wrong person. But not just any wrong person: it's got to be the right wrong person—someone we lovingly gaze upon and think, “This is the problem I want to have.”
Eventually we find that special person who is wrong for us in just the right way.
The Agony of Being Connected
to Everything in the Universe