"TINDER: (to the audience)
Hello, I’m Tinder. You might know me from such things as… “Being Really Drunk at 3 am and Needing to Feel a Body on Top of You” or “Constantly Reminding You You’ll be Alone Forever No Matter How Hard You Try” or “Better than OKCupid”. Some might call me a dating app. I probably live on your phone. I am here to help you find love. I am your friend. You trust me."